Do you think that bad-mouthing your spouse to your children is just venting and not really damaging? Then think again.

Experts say that "ex-bashing" more often than not leads to Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). PAS is a growing concern among therapists, child psychologists and family lawyers in Pasadena. PAS, according to R.A. Gardner, who discovered the disorder, "arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent." Severe cases of PAS can result in kidnappings and psychological violence, but most commonly the disorder can damage a child's self-esteem and create feelings of fear and confusion. Fortunately, if you know the warning sings and where to get help, PAS can be treated and avoided.

PAS usually puts children in the middle of divorce warfare and in highly volatile situations. Things like a disregard for the child's possessions, forcing the child to give a parent information about the other parent, threatening a child into making custody decisions and manipulating a child into feeling bad for spending time with the other parent are signs that a parent may be experiencing PAS. Other red flags include financial blame placed on another parent, refusal to be flexible with visitation and making demands that contradict court orders.

Psychologists believe that PAS is caused by unresolved feelings of anger toward an estranged spouse. The feelings are repressed and then manifest in wild and dangerous behaviors. Childhood abandonment issues and the presence of a new spouse or lover also can trigger PAS. PAS can be avoided by seeking professional help during the divorce process. If you're experiencing these thoughts and behaviors, it's vital that you speak to someone so your child does not become a victim of your erratic behavior. Also, discussions about an ex should only happen when the child isn't in earshot. On the flip side, if your ex is displaying signs of PAS, seeking psychological help for your child is a great suggestion and your family attorney should be alerted right away if PAS has disrupted court-ordered arrangements.

The old adage for children during tough times is "let them know they are loved." This is especially true during divorce. Affirmations of love and support are the only weapons kids have when it looks like their world is falling apart. With open communication, education and resources, PAS doesn't have to be a part of our children's lives.

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Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 9:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Amidst the contentious and dramatic divorces of Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullock, it is refreshing -- albeit rare -- for divorce attorneys in Pasadena to hear about grown-up celebrity divorces. Take Kate Winslet, for example...

The Oscar-winning actress and American Beauty director Sam Mendes announced their split earlier this year, and appear to be participating in a very amicable and functional divorce. Kate and Sam have been seen around New York City in recent months exchanging their children in perfectly organized pick-ups and drop-offs. According to the Daily Mail, Winslet and Mendes orchestrate timing to avoid one another while keeping their children out of the war zone. Mendes reportedly waits for his ex to leave before he accompanies the kids to school each day. He then walks the kids to their private school in Greenwich Village about a mile away. Winslet picks them up in the afternoon around 3 p.m. when Mendes is at work. The couple even lives on the same block while sharing parenting duties of son Joe and daughter Mila. Winslet and Mendes avoid contact with one another but generally appear to get along in situations when they are forced to interact. Despite this current peaceful climate, sources are quick to note that the couple is not expected to reconcile.

This is an improvement for the couple; they were on separate sides of the globe when their divorce was announced back in march. Winslet was on vacation with close friend and former co-star Emma Thompson and the children in Mexico. Mendes, on the other hand, was working in Los Angeles. Rumors of Mendes having an affair with actress Rebecca Hall swirled shortly after the pair announced their separation. Hall since has denied the rumors, saying that she and Mendes are only friends. Winslet has stayed out of the limelight, focusing on her children and returning to work. She has a variety of projects on the horizon, including a romantic comedy with Hangover star Bradley Cooper.

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Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Family lawyers in Pasadena, tabloid reporters around the world, celebrity watchers and even the police all have opinions about the current fall from grace of actor and Academy Award winner Mel Gibson. With the release of what now are commonly referred to as "the tapes" -- in which Gibson channels Mad Max and drops every racial slur, misogynistic defamation and general hate-filled phrase under the sun -- folks are wondering how and if he can ever be back in good graces with the public. An unlikely figure, however, may be the one person who can help Gibson: his former wife of almost 30 years, Robyn.

The couple, according to celebrity gossip sites, might be returning to Australia to disappear for a while from the media attack that currently surrounds the actor. Not only did Robyn give Mel 8 children, she stood by her man during his first fiasco, the infamous Malibu DUI of 2006. Gibson often credited Robyn for helping him recover from alcoholism. She even appeared with him at public events and looked as if she was truly in for the long haul. Yet behind closed doors, insiders say the marriage was already over. Mel and Robyn separated that same year. News outlets were quick to declare the couple as "totally over." The courts, on the hand, told another story. The Gibsons didn't even file for divorce until 2009. Citing "irreconcilable differences," the couple seemed to have ended things amicably; Robyn did not aggressively pursue a large chunk of Mel's estimated $900 million fortune.

And now, Robyn is publicly defending her estranged spouse, saying Mel was never physically abusive and was always a caring father despite the claims of bitter ex-girlfriend Oksana Griorieva. Mel is likely to stay put in Los Angeles until some of his legal messiness, including a custody battle for his child with Griorieva, is cleaned up, but reconciliation with Robyn at this point does not seem unlikely. One thing we've learned from the volatile Mel Gibson is to expect the unexpected.

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Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In best-selling books and on his hit National Geographic Channel show, Cesar Millan transforms the most unruly and ill-mannered dogs into loving family pets. His uncanny ability has earned him the title of the Dog Whisperer. In his own life, maybe Millan should have visited the Marriage Whisperer to get divorce advice in Pasadena. After 16 years of marriage, Millan's wife, Illusion, filed for divorce last week in Los Angeles court. According to court documents, Mrs. Millan is seeking primary physical custody of the couple's two children. The papers cite "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the divorce.

News of the split came from Millan's popular Cesar's Way website. In a message to fans, he wrote, "We are sad to announce that after 16 years of marriage we have decided to file for divorce. The decision was made after much consideration and time. We remain caring friends, and are fully committed to the co-parenting of our two boys."

Cesar Millan grew up in Mexico in a small town. There, he often was teased with the nickname "dog boy" in reference to his ever-present canine companions. Millan had a dream of becoming a famous dog trainer, so he headed to Los Angeles with $100 in his pocket. More than 20 years later, Millan has built a multi-million-dollar dog training empire that includes four best-selling books, his wildly popular cable television series, a product line for animals, a national seminar series and a magazine. Millan also boasts a list of celebrity clients like Jada Pinkett-Smith, Kathy Griffin, Denise Richards and Oprah Winfrey, who has featured him as a guest on her talk show. Cesar and Illusion also a run a non-profit organization for animals in Los Angeles.

When it comes to families with business and financial ties like the Millans, it is important to seek out our own "Divorce Whisperers" to help us sort out what otherwise could be a messy task. Contact one of our family lawyers in Pasadena today.

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Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

School is almost out; for many kids, that means stocking up on their favorite books from a local library or bookstore. Highly sought after titles about young wizards, lovelorn vampires or wimpy kids are at the top of most summer reading lists. Yet for children of divorce, books can be a great way to start the conversation about this life-changing and sometimes difficult process. Online retailers like Amazon.com as well as libraries and bookstores are filled with titles that speak to kids directly about divorce.

Two Homes by Claire Masurel is a top-selling book for young children between the ages of two and five. The book, published in 2003 and illustrated by Kady MacDonald Denton, takes a unique approach to divorce. The toddler narrator of the story, Alex, is the child of divorce. The twist? He seems pretty happy. After all, Alex gets to have more of everything he loves in his life. Two sets of toys, two sets of parents who care for him and two sets of friends are some of the benefits to Alex's life. Young children will love the bright illustrations and clever text while parents will find the positive message of the story refreshing.

For the preschool and first grade set, Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce is an excellent choice. Written by Tamara Schmitz, the book introduces us to Addison, a child of divorce. Addison knows that while things are different now, his parents love him and that will never change. The heartfelt message of this book brings great comfort to kids.

Lastly, for girls 8 years old and up, Help! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies is a surprisingly thorough and honest look at divorce. As part of the American Girl Library, the book tells young girls everything they need to know about divorce, from what certain terms mean to how custody works. It also includes quizzes and advice from real girls who've been caught in the middle of divorce.

Of course, grownups have hundreds of books to choose from, as well. But more often than not, they need someone to talk to and someone with solutions. For real advice concerning the Pasadena divorce process, call us today.

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's that time of year again. It's a time for food, family, and of course, holiday shopping. However, it's also that time of year where many parents disagree about who "gets" the children during the holidays.

Every year during the merry months of November and December, you'll see attorneys frantically running into family court with ex parte motions (emergency motions) asking Judicial Officers to intervene and decide which parent gets to spend a holiday with their child. This is truly one of the most unpleasant events in any family law Judge or attorneys' career. So, if you are a parent who is contemplating this course of action, I'd strongly suggest you keep reading.

Before you instruct your attorney to run into court, know that most courts will refuse to consider ex parte motions brought forward simply because parents are unable to agree on something. Just recently, I was forewarned by a Judicial Officer that she was not going to make any exceptions for holiday visitation schedules. This is because Courts want to discourage litigants from filing these motions and encourage co-parenting.

Ex parte motions on custody matters are statutorily permitted only where there is an emergency, such as risk of imminent harm or child abduction. While emotionally difficult, not spending Christmas morning with your child to open gifts is not an emergency. As you can imagine, this legality is quite difficult to communicate to a parent who wants nothing more in World than to share the holidays with their child. However, you should know that courts disfavor such motions because they deal with such highly personal issues. How can a court make both parties happy? In the rare case that the court intervenes, both parties often walk away feeling unhappy with the decision; a lose-lose scenario.

Before you file your ex parte motion, I suggest that you take some time to consider my three tips below:

1. Whose interest are you really serving? Are you looking out for yourself or for your child? We know that you want to be with your child 24/7, but the reality is that children love and need both sides of their family. A shared holiday schedule is essential in making your child feel secure and loved.

2. Put on your 'good parenting' hat. The best way to demonstrate to the court that you are mature and responsible is to share custody. This will require concessions on both sides so that your child's needs and interests are placed before your own.

3. Have a little empathy. Place the emotional turmoil aside and try to empathize with the other parent. As much as it hurts to even fathom being without your child on a holiday, understand that the other parent is probably having the exact same feelings.

My message to you is that the best gift you can give your child is to cooperate and share the holidays with the other parent. A little peace during this holiday season will go a long way in maintaining stability and making your child feel loved!

Written by: Donald P. Schweitzer

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 6:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The mother of Akon's child has been trying (and failing) to serve him with legal papers over child support -- so now she's gonna call him out in the L.A. Times.

The lawyer, [Patrick Baghdaserians] for [name omitted] tells us they will be taking out an ad in Monday's L.A. Times to serve Akon publicly. If he doesn't respond, they will pursue a default judgment.

But we caught up with Akon in NY -- and it's all news to him. As he told our guy, "You got a hold of me and you ain't even trying. I'm a celebrity. My schedule is on the internet. You can go on my MySpace, it'll tell you where I'm at!"

Source: TMZ

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Where there is a change in circumstances of the child or of either parent, a modification of the amount of child support may be requested and will be granted where appropriate. Change in Circumstances Some changes in circumstances are sufficient to warrant a modification of custody or visitation but are not substantial enough to require a change in child support. A parent may move or a child may change schools, either of which might cause a change in the visitation schedule, without a change in child support. A child might become entitled to receive some type of benefit, such as a dependent child Social Security benefit from a stepparent. Many courts will not adjust child support merely because the child now has more resources. Other changes in circumstances do require a modification of child support. Change in Circumstances of Parents Where a parent loses a job because the only factory in town has shut down, the parent who lost the job may not be able to get another job at a comparable pay and a reduction in child support may be warranted. Where a parent gets a new job paying substantially more money, the change in circumstances of the parent warrants an increase in child support. If a parent becomes disabled and retires on a disability pension and Social Security disability benefits, the parent is entitled to request a modification. It should be noted that the disabled parent is not entitled to stop paying child support and assume that the child's social security benefit will be sufficient to meet the parent's child support obligation; modification by a court or tribunal is required. The fact that a parent remarries or subsequently has another child is usually not the type of change that requires modification of child support. If, however, the parent takes a job in another state, the end of sharing custody and the cost of visitation may require reconsideration of child support. Change in Circumstances of the Child A change of school or a change of after-school activities are not the type of circumstances that require modification of child support. On the other hand, when day care expenses or after school care is no longer needed, child support for such expenses should end, requiring a modification in child support. When a child has extraordinary medical expenses, those expenses may be added to basic child support, requiring modification. A child may inherit a large trust fund responsible for schooling or other expenses included in the child support obligation. The child support obligation should be adjusted to reflect the trust fund payment of this expense. When there is a change of custody, it is obvious that there must be a modification of child support.

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 2:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Akon made a baby with a woman who now wants him to make child support payments -- but she claims the only thing he does better than sing is hide from process servers.

[name omitted]'s lawyer, Patrick Baghdaserians, has been desperately trying to serve Akon but so far no luck.

Akon has already taken a paternity test -- and it was a match! The kid is 6 months old.

Akon's lawyer gave us the following statement:

"Akon has taken responsibility and has been extremely cooperative and proactive in handling this private matter. Paternity was only established just over 30 days ago. Since the case was filed outside of Georgia jurisdiction, where he is a legal resident, Akon is currently in the process of engaging counsel in California and will continue to handle this matter in a timely manner."

-Source: TMZ

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

by Kayla Horacek

The mores in California family law are changing. Highly litigious clients, as well those who favor settlement, are now faced with new realities and options. To that end, it is important that all represented parties retain counsel who are aware of these possibilities and can explain them to his or her clients. There are various examples of this progressive thinking which should be explored by all parties involved in a family law proceeding. What follows is only a glimpse into some of the new developments in family law litigation and settlement.

The Full Monty

In a family law proceeding involving support and/or property division, both parties are required to reveal all of their financial information to one another, under penalty of perjury. The goal behind this policy of full disclosure is to place each party in the most informed position possible in order to settle or litigate their matter. This disclosure requires that each party complete and exchange various court forms and charts detailing all benefits and obligations, whether they are claimed to be of a community or separate nature. Furthermore, California family law places a continuing obligation upon a husband and wife to independently update and augment these disclosures.
This transparency is nothing new. The policy of full disclosure is written into the California Family Code, and has been the legislative mandate for many years. For whatever reason, however, courts were not inclined to penalize a party for their failure to disclose relevant financial information during a pending divorce.
In 2007, one California family court chose to enforce the high standards for truthfulness mandated by the legislature. It found that a party had waited several months to disclose relevant financial information to the other during their divorce proceedings, in direct defiance of the disclosure statutes. At the end of the day, the offending party ended up paying $250,000.00 in sanctions for his behavior, which did not include attorney's fees for the other party amounting to $140,000.00.

Take Home Tip: When you hire a family law attorney to represent you during your dissolution action, and arguably, during an action for support, ensure that they are familiar with the strict disclosure requirements imposed upon you. Provide your attorney with EVERYTHING related to your assets, debts, and income early and continuously.

The Custody Marathon

For most people engaged in a dissolution action, financial concerns are only a small part of the struggle. The vast majority of family court litigants also have children. Thus, they must grapple with the emotionally charged world of custody negotiation.
In the most egregious custody disputes, particularly when one party alleges some kind of substance abuse or an outright inability to care for a child, the court will often appoint some kind of expert to assist it in fashioning a plan in the best interests of the minor(s) involved. This expert is a custody evaluator--a psychologist/psychiatrist with extensive experience in child development. The financial circumstances of the parties will determine whether a court psychologist or a private expert is utilized, as the latter is almost always significantly more expensive.
Many parents are now enlisting the services of another kind of professional designed to guide them through this evaluation process--the "custody coach." This person is typically also some sort of therapist who is intimately familiar with the world of custody disputes and litigation. A parent hires a custody coach in an attempt to prepare for the various exercises, tests, and observations which he or she will undergo as part of the custody evaluation. The coach is likely to provide a litigant with feedback on appropriate behaviors, language, and writing samples before they are seen by the evaluator.

Take Home Tip: When determining whether to hire a coach, consider the fact that such a person may not be seen favorably, as he or she may arguably hinder a genuine evaluation of your parenting abilities. Also, when choosing between coaches, retain someone who has an extensive working knowledge of the procedures used by a private custody evaluator, as well as California custody law. If you cannot afford a custody coach, but need pointers, your attorney should have a handful of helpful hints for you. At the very least, he or she should be able to explain the evaluation process.

The Think-tank

Another trend in California family law combines two terms rarely seen in the same sentence-- collaborative and divorce.
In the collaborative divorce, the parties agree to stay out of the courtroom, and focus on obtaining a global settlement. Initially, each party retains an attorney familiar with this type of practice and commits to settle the matter without litigation. Depending on the issues in the case, various other professionals then become involved. For example, in a high asset case, a forensic accountant may provide an evaluation for the parties. In a contested custody case, a therapist and/or evaluator may make a recommendation for a custody plan in the best interests of the child(ren). In a case with novel issues, an appropriate expert may offer feedback in order to educate the parties and their counsel to allow for a fair settlement. Assuming all aspects are negotiated and agreed to, the parties' attorneys can then memorialize the understanding in writing. If done properly, this agreement will have all the force and effect of a litigated Judgment of Dissolution.

Take Home Tip: When searching for a divorce attorney, consider the collaborative approach if you and your spouse have an amicable relationship, and are truly committed to avoiding the stress, delay, and public nature of litigation. Be prepared for a potentially high retainer for collaborative services, as you will likely be hiring your own attorney, as well as other professionals to evaluate your matter.

This article was written by Kayla Horacek. Portions of article appear in the November 2008 issue of Pasadena Magazine

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 1:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

*IF AUDIO STOPS PLEASE CLICK ON THE TIMELINE TO CORRECT THE ISSUE* On occasion California courts have to struggle with the issue of what constitutes income for the purpose of calculating child support. In a recent California decision entitled "Marriage of Rothrock," the court of appeal had to determine whether or not an uncharacterized personal injury settlement award that was paid into an annuity, constituted income for the purpose of calculating child support. In rendering its' decision, the court of appeal relied on the common law definition of income as well as a federal statute in determining that the monthly annuity did not constitute income. The court's use of the common law definition was somewhat new, in comparison to recent cases where the same issue presented itself. For a more detailed analysis of the court's decision, click onto the above presentation.

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 4:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When modifying a child custody or visitation order the court has to apply certain tests in California, depending on the type of order that is in place. In review of the decision entitled, "Lucio," we see how serious the courts are to applying the proper test, even when the moving party is a registered sex offender.

For a detailed analysis of this case, click onto the above presentation.

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Is Britney Spears fit to be a responsible parent to her two sons? Family law attorney Don Schweitzer provides legal commentary on this topic while on FOX News.

Posted by The Law Offices of Donald P. Schweitzer at 3:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)